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How to become a solo mum by choice
The road to starting a family can begin in many ways. For some, becoming a solo mum has always been a dream, while others have found that life sometimes takes different turns than they had planned.
No matter where you are in life, becoming a parent is a joyful and life-changing experience, and choosing to have a baby on your own is empowering. If you are considering becoming a solo parent by choice, there are other things to consider in the process of getting pregnant on your own, what to expect, the legal and financial aspects, and what your life will be like as a single mum.
We have gathered all the information you need to know if you are considering becoming a solo mum and using a sperm donor so you can make an informed choice about your future.
Real stories of solo mums
For Clara, single motherhood was the right path to take. She had always wanted to become a mother, but life after divorce led her to reconsider how. Clara wanted to keep her independence while fulfilling her dream of becoming a mother. That's when she decided that sperm donation was the right choice for her.
Which type of fertility treatment should I choose?
How do you become pregnant if you want to have a baby on your own? When you decide to have treatment with a sperm donor, your doctor or clinic will recommend one of the following three fertility treatment types.
ICI - Intracervical Insemination
If you have no fertility issues, you will likely be advised to pursue insemination. The ICI method places donor sperm near or directly in the cervix using a syringe. This method differs from IUI by requiring sperm to travel further to reach the egg. Sometimes, fertility medication is used to induce ovulation, enhancing the chances of successful insemination.
IUI - Intrauterine Insemination
Another type of insemination is IUI, which is the most common form of insemination and a more cost-effective option than other types of fertility treatment. The method involves directly inserting sperm into the uterus around the time of ovulation. Fertility medication may be used to induce ovulation, increasing the likelihood of conception.
IVF - In Vitro Fertilisation
If there are factors affecting your fertility, such as PCOS or endometriosis, or if your IUI or ICI treatment doesn't result in pregnancy, IVF may be the next step. Hormone stimulation is used to mature several eggs so that they can be retrieved. Once the eggs are retrieved, they are placed in a laboratory dish with the donor sperm to be fertilised. One of the embryos is then transferred back into the womb, while the others are frozen for future use.
Choosing the right sperm donor
How do you choose the right donor for your family? Our donor profiles contain a lot of information, from the donor’s appearance, personality, education, baby photos and much more. We recommend that you decide on 2-3 characteristics that matter the most to you to ease your choice.
Sperm donors are thoroughly screened
Becoming a sperm donor at European Sperm Bank can take 3 to 6 months. All donor candidates go through a thorough screening process and only 5-7% of applicants are approved to become donors. Among other things our Medical Team ensures:
- That our donors have the highest sperm quality
- That we have reviewed the donor’s family medical history
- That our donors are healthy and regularly tested for infectious diseases
- That we screen all our donors for the most common and serious hereditary diseases
Legal and financial planning when becoming a solo mum
When you choose to have a child with donor sperm you secure that you and you alone have parental right for your child. The donor has no obligation or legal right to your child.
Legislation regarding treatment with donor sperm
While it is possible to receive fertility treatment as a single woman in many countries, the laws and access to treatment can vary. If you already know that you can’t receive treatment in your country, you can consider clinics in another country.
Costs when choosing sperm donation
There are some costs associated with becoming a solo mum that it is good to know about beforehand. These include:
- Consultation fees with fertility clinics.
- Costs associated with sperm donation, which can vary depending on whether you choose a donor with ID release or no ID release, or additional services.
- Fertility treatments, such as IVF (In Vitro Fertilisation), IUI (Intrauterine Insemination) or ICI (Intracervical insemination), which can also vary.
Our role as a sperm bank
Sperm banks play a crucial role in the sperm donation process. Our responsibilities include screening donors for genetic and infectious diseases and ensuring the quality and storage of sperm. But it doesn’t end here. A big part of our responsibility is our commitment to breaking down the taboos surrounding donor conception and sperm donation.
We take pride in providing personalised guidance to single mums and couples, and we want to support them throughout their parenting journey. That's why we have launched our Family Support Programme for donor-conceived families.
In all our processes, we adhere to the directives and guidelines defined by the EU and WHO as well as local authorities.
Building your support system
Starting on the journey to become a solo mum through sperm donation is a courageous and empowering decision. It's a path that comes with its own unique set of challenges and rewards. One of the most important steps you can take to ensure a positive and fulfilling experience is building a strong support system. This network of support will be your foundation, providing emotional, practical, and sometimes financial assistance. Below, you will find a few things to consider:
- Opening up to family and friends: Begin with those closest to you whom you trust deeply. Be honest and open about your decision to become a solo mum using sperm donation. Prepare yourself for a variety of reactions.
- Align expectations: Ask people how involved they want to be in your child’s life and make sure to express your wishes. That way you know who to share the big and little things with - and who to ask when you need a babysitter.
- Finding local community: Look for local support communities for solo parents going through the process of sperm donation.
- Online forums and social media: Websites, forums, and social media groups can connect you with a global community. Here, you can share experiences, ask questions, and find encouragement from women worldwide who are on a similar path.
Thinking about becoming a Solo Mum?
There's plenty of information to explore on both our site and our blog, so you can feel even better equipped to make the decision to become a solo mum. If you want to know more about how to start a family with donor sperm you can sign up for a free ‘Getting started’ webinar. Here you have the possibility to ask all the questions you may have and you’ll get expert advice on your journey to become a solo mum by choice.
There are also specific steps you can take before you start the process. It may be a good idea to have your fertility tested so that you know what kind of treatment you need. Talk to your GP who can guide you about fertility check.
FAQ's about solo mums
Being a solo mum by choice means that a woman consciously chooses to become a mother without a partner or spouse.
The decision to become a single mother by choice is personal and can be based on a number of factors, including the desire to have children, the lack of a partner or spouse, or the desire to be independent in raising children.
Explore our Community page and watch video of personal stories of Solo Mum by choice like you.
- Decision and research: First, you need to consider whether being solo mum is the right choice for you. Then it's important to research what your options are, i.e. what sperm bank and clinic to choose.
- Sperm donor search: You can start looking at donors based on 2-3 criteria, such as physical characteristics, education and personality.
- Consultation: The next step is to book a consultation with a fertility clinic or a specialised doctor. Here you will have the opportunity to discuss your preferences, ask questions and receive guidance on the treatment process.
- Fertility treatment: Once you have chosen a sperm donor, you can begin fertility treatment. The process may vary depending on the specific clinic or your fertility treatment plan.
- Becoming a donor-conceived family: We are commiting to supporting you after having your child. Read more about our Family Support Programme here.
Explore Donor Profiles
If you are curious to see if there are donors that fit your family plan, you can create a free account. You'll be able to read more about our donors, see childhood photos or hand-drawn portraits of some of them, and save your searches to make it easier for you to find donors you're interested in. It is easy to create an account and in a few steps you will have access to all the information you need.
